Breaking Trust: God forgives and takes me back

I recently broke God’s trust in me. I totally messed up. There was a title I saw recently, and it is so applicable to the situation, it was something like ‘acceptable sins’…

Acceptable sins?

There are no acceptable sins. We live a world where sins become the norm, even expected: We would never dream of insulting a friend who buys a new outfit and asks how she looks in it… we ‘find’ something decent to say. We roll through the stop sign as long as it isn’t at the school crossing. We cut corners on our taxes. We exceed the speed limit. We relish the downfall of our rival. We gloat over our wins.

I am so thankful for the Spirit in me that expressed the brokenness when I committed that acceptable sin. It was something I had done before and the Spirit had already brought it to my attention, with no condemnation, but certainly enough to make me begin to consider my actions. I began thinking about the harm that I was committing toward others, though I benefitted. But I did it again.

The benefit was no longer. My heart grieved such that the benefit was taken away and the loss was immense. I was raw inside. I failed at the heartfelt obedience that God calls me to daily.

The Christian Walk

This walk is not a ‘walk in the park’. It is a walk in the mountains, uphill, but with gorgeous vistas, flora and fauna, animals and birds, companions. But it is always a challenge to find my footing. To stay the path and not find a shortcut.

While hiking 14,000-foot high (or higher) mountains around the world, as you hike along, you find cairns. Cairns are stacks of stones that guide the way. The are usually piled in a pyramid fashion, but sometimes an artist can get them to stand in a neat little pile (those are the ones that end of up on social media with ‘serenity’ music playing!). They are important because sometimes the grass grows back from the previous passings, and it is difficult to see where safety lies. But someone has been before and marked out the best path.

God has gone before and marked out the best path. It is always my choice to follow it or not.

But He remains. He remains by my side, even when I ignore the cairns, the signs, the right thing to do. He goes before, he remains beside. He remains within.

Repentance and Return to the Fold

I repented immediately. He took me in his arms immediately. I have no doubt about that. He was grieved, and so was I. But we both acknowledged the hurt, and we care moving forward baby step by baby step ahead again.

I broke his trust in me, that I would follow him, his will. But I repented and came back to him. This is the theme throughout the Old Testament. Whatever we have done, he still desires our companionship, he still desires us. He still desires you, with contrite spirit, to return to him. He accepts us back.

I think it is strange, but I have been glad to be reminded of his full forgiveness and acceptance following sin. The weight that lifts, the pain that can be soothed only by the Holy Spirit. The pain of the separation and the loss, whatever amount of time it may have been, is soothed, healed.

So come back to him. Trust him again. Willingly submit to his reign and know that he is good.

I have affirmed his goodness, faithfulness, and love. He is with me. Come back to him and know it too.