How Do You Truly Forgive Someone Who Hurt You Deeply?
When someone wounds you—deeply, unfairly, maybe even intentionally—what does forgiveness look like? Does it mean forgetting? Pretending nothing happened? Letting them back into your life?
If you're asking how to forgive someone who hurt you deeply, you're not alone.
It’s one of the most common—and most difficult—questions Christians ask.
But here's the truth: forgiveness is possible, and it’s not about minimizing the pain. It’s about releasing the hold that pain has on you. And the process begins with honesty, not perfection.
The Lie We Believe About Forgiveness
Many of us grew up with the idea that forgiveness means “move on and don’t talk about it anymore.” But real, biblical forgiveness doesn’t require us to ignore our wounds. In fact, God invites us to bring our pain to Him—to name it, grieve it, and hand it over.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” —Matthew 11:28
You’re allowed to be honest about how badly you were hurt. That’s not bitterness. That’s truth.
Forgiveness begins when we stop pretending we’re okay—and start trusting God to meet us in the not-okay.
What Forgiveness Is (and Isn't)
Let’s clear this up:
Forgiveness is not:
Approving or excusing what happened
Forgetting the offense
Automatically trusting again
Minimizing your pain
Forgiveness is:
Releasing your need to get even
Laying down the emotional weight
Choosing to let go of what they owe you
Trusting God to do the healing
It’s not a one-time moment. It’s a process. And it’s okay if you’re not there yet.
Why Forgiveness Is for You, Too
When you hold onto anger or resentment, it doesn’t protect you—it binds you.
Sometimes we think if we let go of the pain, we’re letting the offender off the hook. But unforgiveness keeps you tethered to the person who hurt you. It poisons your peace. It numbs your joy. It keeps you stuck.
God calls us to forgive not because it’s easy, but because it sets us free.
“Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” —Colossians 3:13
And in that command is an invitation:
God never asks us to do something He won’t help us do. You don’t have to manufacture forgiveness. You can ask Him to do what you can’t.
A Guided Path to Letting Go
If you're ready to take the next step—if you’re tired of the ache in your chest, the heaviness in your heart—you don’t have to walk this road alone.
That’s exactly why I created Alive Again: Find Healing in Forgiveness—a Bible study and course for women ready to stop carrying the weight and start walking in freedom.
Inside the Alive Again experience, you'll:
Explore biblical stories of messy, real-life forgiveness
Be gently guided through your own pain and healing
Learn how to forgive without pretending it didn’t hurt
Release guilt, bitterness, and shame
Discover the freedom Jesus wants for you
This isn’t a pat-answer study. It’s honest. Reflective. Deeply hopeful.
You’re Not Alone—and You Don’t Have to Stay Stuck
You’re not weak for struggling to forgive. You’re not failing if it’s taking time.
You’re human. You’re hurt. And God sees you.
Forgiveness is hard—but it’s holy.
And you are not alone as you take the first step.
Ready to Begin the Journey?
Explore the Alive Again Course and start your journey toward real healing.
Let go of the weight. Come alive again.
