If you reconcile, it is wise to guard yourself. It is important to take the relationship through a process of building trust to restore the relationship, just as Joseph did with his brothers. It is important to consider boundaries or ways to protect ourselves when we continue with the relationships.

Forgiveness is something that is between you and God, the offender has nothing to do with it. If the conversation calls for it, the person asks forgiveness or seeks to mend the relationship, it might be the right time to say that you have forgiven or do forgive someone.

It comes down to reconciliation as a choice, not a must. It would seem to be easier to reconcile if the person is repentant. But in all honesty, it is not always as easy as a ‘choice’.

TRUTH: Forgiveness is a free gift that helps me heal, and actually does nothing for the offender.

Forgiveness is not a miracle; it miraculously works in us. But the decision to forgive does not immediately alter everything.

With forgiveness, we do not forget, but the memories no longer trigger pain and no longer control our actions. With forgiveness, we are cut free from the pain.

Whatever the person did, big or small, it is NOT okay that they did it. It might be that everything is okay between him/her and me, but that does not make what they did ok. So, let’s stop saying ‘it’s ok’ in response to an apology or request for forgiveness. How do we respond to ‘I’m sorry’, then? Here’s how to open the conversation

It is a common thing to hear, or think, ‘She deserves punishment, so I’m not going to forgive until she has paid.’ With forgiveness, God steps in to hold the hook on the offender.